FACING LIFE'S CHALLENGES

My daughter, Shannon, was recently chatting with me about the challenge of parenting two little boys, shown above, who are in the "terrible two" stage.  They can be as sweet as pie and as mean as can be, biting and continually saying "No! No! No!" to EVERYTHING.  All of you mothers can probably relate to this.  Shannon tearfully expressed feelings of incompetency as a mother and her desire to help these little boys be the best that they can be.

Well, this got me to pondering about challenges in life in general.  In Sunday School today our Gospel Doctrine teacher gave us something to consider: "Try not looking at the trials in life as 'tests', but rather try to view them as 'learning opportunities'." This triggered a memory of one of our church leaders (can't remember exactly which one) who said something to the effective of "We must look at the trials and challenges of life and say to ourselves:' What does my Father in Heaven want me to learn from this challenge?'" If we can actually slow down and ponder and pray enough to put this suggestion into action, think how much we could learn and grow from the challenges we face.

In the December Ensign Magazine, Henry Eyring gave a talk about things we can do to ensure the happiness of our family members. He spoke about several topics related to this, but I wanted to write down some of the ideas he shared.

1:  Receiving inspiration and direction from the Holy Ghost.  "While serving others, we are most likely to plead for the companionship of the Holy Ghost.  Success in the Lord's service always produces miracles beyond our own powers. The parent facing a child in serious rebellion knows that is true.  It is only with the companionship of the Holy Ghost that we can hope to be equally yoked in a marriage free from discord. "

2:  Tests.  "Life in families will test us.  That is one of God's purposes in giving us the gift of mortality--to strengthen us by passing through tests (opportunities to learn).  That will be especially true in family life, where we will find great joy and great sorrow and challenges which may at times seem beyond our power to endure. "  He went on to quote George Q. Cannon "There is not one of us whom God has not expended his love upon.  There is not one of us that He has not cared for and caressed.  There is not one of us that He has not desired to save, and that He has not devised means to save.  There is not one of us that He has not given His angels charge concerning.  We may be insignificant and contemptible in our own eyes, and in the eyes of others, but the truth remains that we are the children of God, and that He has actually given His angels--invisible beings of power and might--charge concerning us, and they watch over us and have us in their keeping."

Brother Eyring spoke of a grandmother whose grandson had chosen a life of crime.  He was finally sentenced to prison.  As the grandmother drove to visit him in prison, she had tears in her eyes as she prayed, "I've tried to live a good life. Why, why do I have this tragedy of a grandson who seems to have destroyed his life?"  The answer came to her mind in these words:  "I gave him to you because I knew you could and would love him no matter what he did".  There is a wonderful lesson for us all.  The way for loving parents and grandparents and all of God's servants will not be easy in a decaying world.  We cannot force God's children to choose the way to happiness.  God cannot do that because of the agency He has given us.  Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son love all of God's children no matter what they choose to do or what they become.  The Savior paid the price of all sins, no matter how heinous.  Even though there must be justice, the opportunity for mercy is extended which will not rob justice.  With the help of the Holy Ghost, all truths will be brought to our remembrance.  We cannot force that on others, but we can let them see it in our lives.  We can always take courage from the assurance that we all once felt the joy of being together as a a member of the beloved family of our Heavenly Father before we came to earth.

This article helped me to realize that all we can do is our best, whether it be in serving our family or those others around us.  We can live correct principles and teach them to our children in love.  We cannot rob  them of the sacred gift of agency, although sometimes I think I would like to try that.  I hope that when I face the challenges and lessons of life, I can ask myself, "What would God have me to learn from this experience."  Once I learn the lesson I hope I will reach out and share it with others who are in need of a helping hand.

THANKS FOR THE WELL WISHES

I wanted to express my thanks to all my friends who have sent their well wishes while I have been sick with a stubborn virus of some kind.  Recovery has been a bit of a roller coaster ride with some good hours and some not so good hours. I would also like to write down some things I am learning through this experience.

I am pretty patient with those around me (except bad drivers), but I have never been one to be very patient with myself. I suppose that is not uncommon.  I have always felt a drive to go, go, go and stay organized and on top of everything.  Can't stand to have dirty clothes in the hamper or my house very messy, etc.  I feel bad if I don't get my scripture reading and studying done every day and have actually gotten into a pretty good habit of getting that accomplished about 95% of the time.  I like to also do some reading for fun every day, work a little on quilts or crafts, try to help someone out, get some exercise,and fix a few decent meals for Gary during the week.  I feel crazy if I don't plan my church lessons way in advance so I don't get stressed, etc.  If I get a cold I generally plow through it and once in a while I may get a 24-hour bug.  Well, this past week has blown that all to you know where!

I have really never felt quite so sick since I was a little kid with the German measles or the chicken pox.   With the German measles I remember being kept in a dark room for days on end with fever, chills, etc.  I have prayed during this illness to just feel like taking a sip of water, and to get over the mental fog I have been in.  I had Gary and a sweet friend give me a priesthood blessing.  I felt a mental relief come over me after the blessing and a brief relief from symptoms, but I think God is allowing me to ride this storm out in order to learn to be patient with myself.  If I don't shower for 3 days, or don't put on makeup for a week, and don't care if someone comes and I am in my pajamas, who cares?  If my laundry starts piling up and overflowing, who cares?  I have had to let everything I generally control go to pot.  I have lived in spite of it all.  The world hasn't come to an end.

I am moving slowly today and only accomplishing a little bit of what I normally do, but it is okay.  Gary is patient and loving as always.  My kids and friends have been so sweet. I hate letting others do for me, but I am learning.  The recovery may be slow, but I am on the right track.  Like Lehi's dream about the Tree of Life, I am on the path and holding fast to the iron rod. I am not looking to those in the great and spacious building who could be pointing fingers of scorn at me.  I am trying to keep my eyes focused on the God of Light who brings tender mercies to all of us, and allows us to have trials to teach and refine us.  This has been a very tiny trial compared to friends and neighbors whom I have watched endure great suffering.  I am learning that God sends us only what we can bare, when we can bare it, and gets rid of the dross in our lives a little at a time.  Some people seem called to bare such great challenges and others so few, but we cannot compare as we are all so different, with different lessons to learn and grow from.  I am so grateful for the Gospel plan and for a loving Father in Heaven.