FACING LIFE'S CHALLENGES

My daughter, Shannon, was recently chatting with me about the challenge of parenting two little boys, shown above, who are in the "terrible two" stage.  They can be as sweet as pie and as mean as can be, biting and continually saying "No! No! No!" to EVERYTHING.  All of you mothers can probably relate to this.  Shannon tearfully expressed feelings of incompetency as a mother and her desire to help these little boys be the best that they can be.

Well, this got me to pondering about challenges in life in general.  In Sunday School today our Gospel Doctrine teacher gave us something to consider: "Try not looking at the trials in life as 'tests', but rather try to view them as 'learning opportunities'." This triggered a memory of one of our church leaders (can't remember exactly which one) who said something to the effective of "We must look at the trials and challenges of life and say to ourselves:' What does my Father in Heaven want me to learn from this challenge?'" If we can actually slow down and ponder and pray enough to put this suggestion into action, think how much we could learn and grow from the challenges we face.

In the December Ensign Magazine, Henry Eyring gave a talk about things we can do to ensure the happiness of our family members. He spoke about several topics related to this, but I wanted to write down some of the ideas he shared.

1:  Receiving inspiration and direction from the Holy Ghost.  "While serving others, we are most likely to plead for the companionship of the Holy Ghost.  Success in the Lord's service always produces miracles beyond our own powers. The parent facing a child in serious rebellion knows that is true.  It is only with the companionship of the Holy Ghost that we can hope to be equally yoked in a marriage free from discord. "

2:  Tests.  "Life in families will test us.  That is one of God's purposes in giving us the gift of mortality--to strengthen us by passing through tests (opportunities to learn).  That will be especially true in family life, where we will find great joy and great sorrow and challenges which may at times seem beyond our power to endure. "  He went on to quote George Q. Cannon "There is not one of us whom God has not expended his love upon.  There is not one of us that He has not cared for and caressed.  There is not one of us that He has not desired to save, and that He has not devised means to save.  There is not one of us that He has not given His angels charge concerning.  We may be insignificant and contemptible in our own eyes, and in the eyes of others, but the truth remains that we are the children of God, and that He has actually given His angels--invisible beings of power and might--charge concerning us, and they watch over us and have us in their keeping."

Brother Eyring spoke of a grandmother whose grandson had chosen a life of crime.  He was finally sentenced to prison.  As the grandmother drove to visit him in prison, she had tears in her eyes as she prayed, "I've tried to live a good life. Why, why do I have this tragedy of a grandson who seems to have destroyed his life?"  The answer came to her mind in these words:  "I gave him to you because I knew you could and would love him no matter what he did".  There is a wonderful lesson for us all.  The way for loving parents and grandparents and all of God's servants will not be easy in a decaying world.  We cannot force God's children to choose the way to happiness.  God cannot do that because of the agency He has given us.  Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son love all of God's children no matter what they choose to do or what they become.  The Savior paid the price of all sins, no matter how heinous.  Even though there must be justice, the opportunity for mercy is extended which will not rob justice.  With the help of the Holy Ghost, all truths will be brought to our remembrance.  We cannot force that on others, but we can let them see it in our lives.  We can always take courage from the assurance that we all once felt the joy of being together as a a member of the beloved family of our Heavenly Father before we came to earth.

This article helped me to realize that all we can do is our best, whether it be in serving our family or those others around us.  We can live correct principles and teach them to our children in love.  We cannot rob  them of the sacred gift of agency, although sometimes I think I would like to try that.  I hope that when I face the challenges and lessons of life, I can ask myself, "What would God have me to learn from this experience."  Once I learn the lesson I hope I will reach out and share it with others who are in need of a helping hand.

THANKS FOR THE WELL WISHES

I wanted to express my thanks to all my friends who have sent their well wishes while I have been sick with a stubborn virus of some kind.  Recovery has been a bit of a roller coaster ride with some good hours and some not so good hours. I would also like to write down some things I am learning through this experience.

I am pretty patient with those around me (except bad drivers), but I have never been one to be very patient with myself. I suppose that is not uncommon.  I have always felt a drive to go, go, go and stay organized and on top of everything.  Can't stand to have dirty clothes in the hamper or my house very messy, etc.  I feel bad if I don't get my scripture reading and studying done every day and have actually gotten into a pretty good habit of getting that accomplished about 95% of the time.  I like to also do some reading for fun every day, work a little on quilts or crafts, try to help someone out, get some exercise,and fix a few decent meals for Gary during the week.  I feel crazy if I don't plan my church lessons way in advance so I don't get stressed, etc.  If I get a cold I generally plow through it and once in a while I may get a 24-hour bug.  Well, this past week has blown that all to you know where!

I have really never felt quite so sick since I was a little kid with the German measles or the chicken pox.   With the German measles I remember being kept in a dark room for days on end with fever, chills, etc.  I have prayed during this illness to just feel like taking a sip of water, and to get over the mental fog I have been in.  I had Gary and a sweet friend give me a priesthood blessing.  I felt a mental relief come over me after the blessing and a brief relief from symptoms, but I think God is allowing me to ride this storm out in order to learn to be patient with myself.  If I don't shower for 3 days, or don't put on makeup for a week, and don't care if someone comes and I am in my pajamas, who cares?  If my laundry starts piling up and overflowing, who cares?  I have had to let everything I generally control go to pot.  I have lived in spite of it all.  The world hasn't come to an end.

I am moving slowly today and only accomplishing a little bit of what I normally do, but it is okay.  Gary is patient and loving as always.  My kids and friends have been so sweet. I hate letting others do for me, but I am learning.  The recovery may be slow, but I am on the right track.  Like Lehi's dream about the Tree of Life, I am on the path and holding fast to the iron rod. I am not looking to those in the great and spacious building who could be pointing fingers of scorn at me.  I am trying to keep my eyes focused on the God of Light who brings tender mercies to all of us, and allows us to have trials to teach and refine us.  This has been a very tiny trial compared to friends and neighbors whom I have watched endure great suffering.  I am learning that God sends us only what we can bare, when we can bare it, and gets rid of the dross in our lives a little at a time.  Some people seem called to bare such great challenges and others so few, but we cannot compare as we are all so different, with different lessons to learn and grow from.  I am so grateful for the Gospel plan and for a loving Father in Heaven.

FAMILY

I have been reading a book recently titled, "Falling Leaves".  It is a memoir of  a girl growing up in China during the 1940s and on.  It goes through many of the challenges the people in China have faced since the late 1800s, early 1900s, the fighting between the Communists and the Kuomintang, etc.  However, the focus is on the experiences this girl had growing up in a family with quite a few children, she being the youngest of her parents, and her mother dies giving birth to this little girl.

She is blamed for the death of her mother, her father remarries and he and his new wife are very cruel to his children.  The father and new wife end up having 2 children together, which become the 'favored' children-- those who are doted on, loved, showered with the best of everything, etc.  The other children are relegated to live on a separate floor of their home and are given little to eat, are expected to walk long distances to school, and are told they are no good.  This young daughter, in particular, seems to draw the most hatred and ill treatment from her father and step-mother.  She is not allowed to have school mates over, is seldom allowed to play with others, and lives a terribly lonely life except for an aunt who loves and encourages her.  She is beaten and mistreated.  Finally her aunt is taken away from her because her parents can't stand to see her receiving love and encouragement from anyone.

Reading this memoir once again reminds me of how blessed I am to have been raised by loving parents who told me they loved me and who encouraged me to strive for anything I was interested in.  I didn't always agree with some of the restrictions my father placed on me as I was growing up, but I always knew that these restrictions were a result of how much my father loved me and wanted to protect me from harm.

I watch as our children have grown, married, and are now raising their own families.  They are quick to both show and tell their little ones how much they love them.  They take them with them everywhere.  Their kids know how proud their parents are of them.  My children share the passions they  have in life with their kids, taking them hiking, camping, target shooting, bike riding, skiing, swimming, etc.  Grandpa has been taking them flying with him since they were born.  This past year our two oldest grandsons, Van, and Finn were able to come sailing with us on our boat in the Virgin Islands and Grandpa passed his love of sailing to them.

I simply cannot imagine growing up without parents who love you and siblings who support you.  Yet I know that many, many children in this world have grown up in tragic circumstances without the privileges I have had.  Even in circumstances of extreme poverty or physical challenges, if a child has the love and support of good parents it means everything.  I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who is only a prayer away and who loves me more than I can even imagine.  His plan is for me to be happy.  I am so very blessed.

GRATITUDE

Read a quote recently which I liked.
"Happy people are not grateful- grateful people are happy."

I am thankful that many years ago Oprah Winfrey (sometimes I like her and sometimes I'm not so sure) had a show which encouraged her viewers to keep a Gratitude Journal.  We have received  similar advice from Henry B. Eyering,  to journal each day how we see the hand of God in our lives.

This sounds a bit weird (nothing knew for me ), but I am thankful that it seems pretty easy for me to be grateful.  I think it is actually hard for some people.  For some people, it seems like what is challenging or "bad" in life, is what jumps out at them.  They seem very negative and are quick to find fault in others and in the world around them. This causes them to have a lack of peace in their life.  I have also noticed that these type of people also seem reticent to compliment others or show appreciation for others.

Now don't get me wrong, I am far from perfect in this respect.  I do find joy, wonder, and good things every day, no matter that there are challenges and frustrations there each day as well.  In spite of the fact that there is plenty of rotten stuff going on in this old world, always has been and always will be, I am still able to rejoice in what is good and find peace in my life.  However, I also have had to admit to myself, many many times, that I can have issues with being too quick to judge others at times.  Sometimes this can be a reflection of who I am spending time with, for it is easier to get caught up in griping and whining when we are with someone else who has this same weakness.  I know I have been guilty of judging when in a group.

This is not New Years, and the time for resolutions, but I have been working on this and making it a matter of prayer.  I am grateful for the principle of repentance and forgiveness-- so grateful!  I have been so very blessed in this earthly life.  I had parents, who although they weren't practicing church-goers, taught me the value of honesty, hard work, kindness, and giving to others.  I have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, and terrific grandchildren.  I live in a wonderful neighborhood, and country, and have a warm home and clothes to wear and plenty of food to eat.  Thanks, Heavenly Father.

Miracles in Missionary Work

I was watching a devotional this morning from BYU Idaho, and the talk was given by Jo Christensen, former President of BYU Idaho. He was sharing the changes that have come about in the missionary program in Mexico and Central America.

He served a mission in what was then the Mexico Mission from 1948 to 1951.  Here are the stats from that time period:
1 mission which included all of Mexico & the 7 Central American countries
0 stakes
0 temples
5,000 members
1/16th the number of world-wide missionaries serving for the LDS church

Here are the most recent statistics for that same area:
52 missions
331 stakes
18 operating temples
over 1.8 million members

Just amazing to see the progress in missionary work over the course of one person's lifetime.  These are exciting times to live in.  I pray daily for ways to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with those around me, and to share the love He has for them.