I wanted to express my thanks to all my friends who have sent their well wishes while I have been sick with a stubborn virus of some kind. Recovery has been a bit of a roller coaster ride with some good hours and some not so good hours. I would also like to write down some things I am learning through this experience.
I am pretty patient with those around me (except bad drivers), but I have never been one to be very patient with myself. I suppose that is not uncommon. I have always felt a drive to go, go, go and stay organized and on top of everything. Can't stand to have dirty clothes in the hamper or my house very messy, etc. I feel bad if I don't get my scripture reading and studying done every day and have actually gotten into a pretty good habit of getting that accomplished about 95% of the time. I like to also do some reading for fun every day, work a little on quilts or crafts, try to help someone out, get some exercise,and fix a few decent meals for Gary during the week. I feel crazy if I don't plan my church lessons way in advance so I don't get stressed, etc. If I get a cold I generally plow through it and once in a while I may get a 24-hour bug. Well, this past week has blown that all to you know where!
I have really never felt quite so sick since I was a little kid with the German measles or the chicken pox. With the German measles I remember being kept in a dark room for days on end with fever, chills, etc. I have prayed during this illness to just feel like taking a sip of water, and to get over the mental fog I have been in. I had Gary and a sweet friend give me a priesthood blessing. I felt a mental relief come over me after the blessing and a brief relief from symptoms, but I think God is allowing me to ride this storm out in order to learn to be patient with myself. If I don't shower for 3 days, or don't put on makeup for a week, and don't care if someone comes and I am in my pajamas, who cares? If my laundry starts piling up and overflowing, who cares? I have had to let everything I generally control go to pot. I have lived in spite of it all. The world hasn't come to an end.
I am moving slowly today and only accomplishing a little bit of what I normally do, but it is okay. Gary is patient and loving as always. My kids and friends have been so sweet. I hate letting others do for me, but I am learning. The recovery may be slow, but I am on the right track. Like Lehi's dream about the Tree of Life, I am on the path and holding fast to the iron rod. I am not looking to those in the great and spacious building who could be pointing fingers of scorn at me. I am trying to keep my eyes focused on the God of Light who brings tender mercies to all of us, and allows us to have trials to teach and refine us. This has been a very tiny trial compared to friends and neighbors whom I have watched endure great suffering. I am learning that God sends us only what we can bare, when we can bare it, and gets rid of the dross in our lives a little at a time. Some people seem called to bare such great challenges and others so few, but we cannot compare as we are all so different, with different lessons to learn and grow from. I am so grateful for the Gospel plan and for a loving Father in Heaven.
I am pretty patient with those around me (except bad drivers), but I have never been one to be very patient with myself. I suppose that is not uncommon. I have always felt a drive to go, go, go and stay organized and on top of everything. Can't stand to have dirty clothes in the hamper or my house very messy, etc. I feel bad if I don't get my scripture reading and studying done every day and have actually gotten into a pretty good habit of getting that accomplished about 95% of the time. I like to also do some reading for fun every day, work a little on quilts or crafts, try to help someone out, get some exercise,and fix a few decent meals for Gary during the week. I feel crazy if I don't plan my church lessons way in advance so I don't get stressed, etc. If I get a cold I generally plow through it and once in a while I may get a 24-hour bug. Well, this past week has blown that all to you know where!
I have really never felt quite so sick since I was a little kid with the German measles or the chicken pox. With the German measles I remember being kept in a dark room for days on end with fever, chills, etc. I have prayed during this illness to just feel like taking a sip of water, and to get over the mental fog I have been in. I had Gary and a sweet friend give me a priesthood blessing. I felt a mental relief come over me after the blessing and a brief relief from symptoms, but I think God is allowing me to ride this storm out in order to learn to be patient with myself. If I don't shower for 3 days, or don't put on makeup for a week, and don't care if someone comes and I am in my pajamas, who cares? If my laundry starts piling up and overflowing, who cares? I have had to let everything I generally control go to pot. I have lived in spite of it all. The world hasn't come to an end.
I am moving slowly today and only accomplishing a little bit of what I normally do, but it is okay. Gary is patient and loving as always. My kids and friends have been so sweet. I hate letting others do for me, but I am learning. The recovery may be slow, but I am on the right track. Like Lehi's dream about the Tree of Life, I am on the path and holding fast to the iron rod. I am not looking to those in the great and spacious building who could be pointing fingers of scorn at me. I am trying to keep my eyes focused on the God of Light who brings tender mercies to all of us, and allows us to have trials to teach and refine us. This has been a very tiny trial compared to friends and neighbors whom I have watched endure great suffering. I am learning that God sends us only what we can bare, when we can bare it, and gets rid of the dross in our lives a little at a time. Some people seem called to bare such great challenges and others so few, but we cannot compare as we are all so different, with different lessons to learn and grow from. I am so grateful for the Gospel plan and for a loving Father in Heaven.
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